Processing last session

Today's session with Maya was harder than I expected. We talked about the housing stuff and I ended up getting pretty emotional. I kept apologising for crying and she kept saying I didn't need to. I know she's right but it still felt embarrassing.

She asked me about what home felt like growing up and I didn't have a good answer. I've been sitting with that since. I think I've been avoiding the question because it's complicated — like, there were good things, but there was also a lot of walking on eggshells.

I don't know. I feel kind of wrung out right now. Maya suggested I write down three things I'm grateful for before bed. I'm struggling to get past one but I know that's the point — it's supposed to be hard when you're in it.

One thing I'm grateful for: I actually showed up today. I almost cancelled.